Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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