Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
