we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Pooping to opera.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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