I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
