We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
