The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
