Don't make out with my wife yet
Soap is not a condiment
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
