How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
