What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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