you have to choose: penises or morals?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
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Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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