drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize