If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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