if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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