My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
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She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
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I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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