STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
