you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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