their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
