I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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