I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
