Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
