i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
