hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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