We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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