Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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