How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
