Do you still have your period?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
