Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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