About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
