i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
