Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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