I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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