can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
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I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
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I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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