I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
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Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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