I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
