Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
