i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize