I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
