I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
