nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
