You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
