what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
