is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
