would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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