No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
