What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize