I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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