Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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