Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
