remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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