I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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