she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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