it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
