I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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