You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize