And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize