Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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