I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
