I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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