Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
