How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
